Jeff Hardy Birthday Songfic Collection
by lookitsria
Summary: A collection of songfics written for Jeff Hardy's birthday through the years.  Based on the professional wrestler Jeff Hardy and original character Maria  not the Diva  and the fall and eventual rise of their relationship.
1. You Were Mine  2001

**Author's Note: I wrote this in 2001 as a birthday fic for Jeff Hardy (the professional wrestler). Little did I know that I'd continue to write Jeff Hardy birthday fics for years to come. I've decided to publish them here for all to enjoy. "Maria" in the story is not the professional wrestler Maria, she was an original character I created before the Diva Maria ever showed up on TV. Be warned that it's a song fic and all of the stories in the series are song fics based on Dixie Chicks songs. I edited it before uploading so it's not as horrible as it was originally. Be gentle if you decide to review. :)**

You Were Mine (2001)

"Happy Birthday, baby," Maria whispered as she kissed her fingers and placed them on the picture frame. She had taken out all of their wedding pictures and spread them across her bed. They were so happy for five long years but all those happy memories faded with the arrival of Kalli. At first, Maria didn't want to believe this "Kalli" person was real. She only started accepting it when Jeff had moved out to be with her, leaving Maria alone with their two children.

The previous night, Maria had yet another nightmare, one of the nightmares where you cry in your dream and cry in real life. She had woken up, yelling out Jeff's name, tears running down her cheeks.

She heard her two children run into the bedroom and she quickly placed the picture down, wiping her tears and turning to them. "All ready to see daddy?" she asked with as cheerful a voice as possible.

"Yes, ma'am!" Michelle, her oldest, exclaimed. This would be her father's first birthday where they all weren't together. "Why can't you stay?" the four-year-old asked, remembering that her mother has said it would be just the kids and daddy all day.

"Kalli's going to be there, sweetie. Besides, mommy isn't allowed to stay." This was the hardest part of her divorce, explaining to her children that their father had found someone else and loved that someone else now, not mommy.

"Oh, all right," Michelle said, dismissing the subject at hand and walking out of the room.

"Happy birthday daddy?" her youngest, Allen, asked. Maria picked up her two-year-old son and gave a nod.

"Yes, sweetie, and you get to spend all day with daddy."

"Yay!" came an enthusiastic yell from the toddler who was excited at the thought of daddy-time. Giving him an extra squeeze, Maria brought her baby downstairs.

"Michelle, get daddy's present on the kitchen table and let's go!" Maria called to her daughter, who soon came bounding into the front hall with Jeff's present in her hands. Maria reached into the closet with one hand, still holding Allen, and fished out their jackets. She set Allen down and handed Michelle her jacket, the little girl always insisting on doing it herself since she was a 'big girl' now. When everyone was ready, and Maria got the car keys, they headed outside. She secured everyone in the car seats and began their hour ride to Jeff's new home. As they got closer to Jeff's home she began talking to her children. "Be good for daddy. Be nice to Kalli. Don't eat too much birthday cake..." her voice faded as she reached his house. As she pulled into the driveway he came out the front door. 'Great, he won't even let me see them inside,' she thought.

She stopped the car and got out, opening Allen's door and taking him out of his car seat. Michelle, the brilliant four-year-old that she was, took off her own restraints and ran towards Jeff once outside of the car.

"Daddy!" she yelled as he scooped her up and hugged her. There was no denying that Jeff loved his children unconditionally.

"Well hello little Miss Michelle," came the southern drawl Maria has committed to memory many, many years ago.

"Daddy! Daddy!" came Allen's cries as Maria set him down and he ran towards his father. Jeff laughed and the little boy's excitement and picked him up as well. Maria came closer to them, smiling slightly.

"Happy birthday, Jeff," she said softly as he looked at her.

"Thank you," he replied, putting the kids down. "Go on inside," he told them as he took a step closer to Maria. "Wanna come inside, too?"

"No, I should be going. I haven't had a day alone in a while," she answered.

"All right." He watched her, seeing right through her façade.

"Just remember, Allen's allergic to peanuts. Michelle shouldn't have too much sugar, she gets really hyper," Maria began to ramble.

"I know, Ria," he replied gently.

"Sorry."

"No problem. You sure you don't wanna stay for a while? Kalli won't be home for a few hours." Her name made Maria shudder.

"No, I'm fine. When should I pick them up?"

"I'll drop them off around nine. Ok?"

"Sure." She turned and walked towards the car without another word. Jeff waited until the car was down the street before he went inside with his kids.

The day was spent playing. They opened birthday presents, sang "Happy Birthday," and ate cake, and soon it was time for them to go home. The kids fell asleep on the way back to Maria's house. Jeff pulled up the driveway and shut the car off. He silently got out of the car and woke Michelle. She sleepily got out of the car and started towards the house. Jeff got Allen out of his car seat, careful not to wake him as he walked towards the front door. He rang the bell and Maria soon answered, picking up her sleepy daughter.

"Hey," she said softly. "They weren't a handful, I hope."

"Not at all."

"C'mon in. Let's bring them upstairs."

Maria and Jeff brought the children upstairs, Michelle having fallen asleep in her mother's arms. The parents changed them into their pajamas, working together like a nightly ritual and tucking them into their beds. The two slipped back downstairs.

"Do you want coffee or something?" Maria asked, making her way to the kitchen.

"That'd be nice," Jeff replied, following her.

Maria made a pot of coffee, not speaking as the pot brewed, and they both sat at the table once it was done.

"So, what have you been doing with yourself?" Jeff asked, finally breaking the silence.

"Taking care of the kids. Cooking, cleaning, driving Michelle to school, signing divorce papers. The usual."

His eyes narrowed. "Don't make this harder than it has to be, Ria."

"Harder? It's already killing me, Jeff, it can't get any harder. She has no right to take you away like this. For so damn long you were mine! Five long, happy years! We were happy!" The desperation in her voice couldn't be missed.

"Obviously I wasn't..."

"I wake up crying at night, Jeff. I dream about what we had and I miss it so much. I scream out your name every single night."

"Ria, stop, please."

"Our love wasn't blind. What we had was so special. I have two great reasons that we should be together. He's two and she's four and you know they adore you! How can I tell them you don't love mommy anymore?"

"Ria, I'm sorry. I am. But, it's over. You can do so much better than me."

"I don't want to do better, Jeff. I want you."

Jeff stood. "I'm sorry."

"I remember when you were mine, Jeff. The nights of making love. Snuggling as we watched TV. When we found out I was pregnant with Michelle. When Allen was born."

"Please, Maria," he was begging now.

"I'll forget any of this happened, Jeff. I'll forget you walking out on us. Just, please, come back to stay."

"I can't. I love Kalli."

"And you didn't love me."

Jeff sighed. "I should go. Thanks for letting them come by today."

Maria looked down at her hands as she sat at the table. She couldn't find a reason to let go. So what? He found a new love. Kalli was what his dreams were made of, not her. Not Ria. But, she couldn't find a reason to hang on. She was willing to forget everything that had happened in the last six months. To her, life was not worth living without him. Jeff silently left the house, going back home. Maria would have to get used to being alone. There was no one else she wanted. No one would ever fill the shoes Jeff Hardy had filled for all those years. She closed her eyes, remembering when he was hers.


	2. Without You 2002

Without You (2002)

It surely hasn't been a whole year, has it? I checked the calendar again, still holding the phone to my ear.

"Jeff? You still there?" I'm startled out of my daze by the voice on the other end.

"Yeah, I'm here. And of course I wanna see them."

"Great, well, I can bring them over in the morning."

"How about we all do lunch?" I ask suddenly. My head hasn't been on right lately, but I missed Ria terribly. Kalli had left a few months ago and I hadn't had the balls to tell Ria that like her, I was now alone. The only thing I could think about was her since Kalli told me she was moving on with her life, that it had been fun and that's all she had been looking for. The hurt of being left behind quickly faded as I concentrated on other things, namely my kids. Michelle was now a whole five-years-old and little Allen was three. The biggest mistake I ever made was leaving them. The biggest mistake was leaving Ria. And now here I was, alone.

"I don't know." Ever since last year she had totally shut herself off from me. Sometimes we wouldn't even say hello when we saw each other.

"C'mon, Ria. We need to talk." I was getting desperate. I needed to see her, talk to her, maybe gather the courage to beg her forgiveness.

"I've talked enough."

"I haven't. Please? Just lunch and I'll bring the kids back with me. Just let me see you for a while? Please?" I was reduced to begging.

"Fine. Lunch and that's all," she told me before telling me when and where to meet them. I ached to see her again. It was only last year that she begged me to come back. This year, it'd be me.

A week later I found myself sitting on my bed, not able to sleep with no one beside me. It was entirely too early to start getting ready for my birthday lunch. I went into my closet, looking for something to wear and deciding I'd try some stuff on when I found an unmarked box. Pulling it out and emptying it on the bed, I realized it was all old pictures. Wedding pictures, our honeymoon, holidays and the sort afterwards. On the bottom of the pile was a picture of Ria and I taken at Myrtle Beach. Thinking back to the day, I was reminded of my proposal. How could I have loved her so much and still hurt her so badly? How stupid and selfish could I have been to leave her? How stubborn was I when I realized I still wanted her yet wouldn't simply go back? I was a damn fool. Not being able to take it any longer, I put the pictures back in the box and stuffed it back in the closet. I decided on a long shower, and a cold one at that. The icy spray punished me for all of the foolishness I've made Ria endure over the last year and a half. I was upset to see that it was raining when I got out of the shower and surprised to feel how cold it was. I dressed in pants and a shirt that I knew she liked, all the while listening to the rain and being filled with nostalgia. I went back into my closet and pulled out the picture of us on the beach. Returning to my bed, I simply stared at it and remembered for the next few hours to come.

Noon found me sitting in a booth, waiting for my family. I had been out of it all day, staring off into space for most of it.

"Daddy!" The screech brought me to the present as I saw my daughter running towards the table. I stood, ready to pick her up when she flung herself at me. I was greeted with a tight hug and quite frankly, I needed it. "Happy Birthday," she told me, then kissed my cheek rather loudly. While my attention was focused on her, Ria walked over carrying Allen. I helped Michelle into her seat, taking Allen from Ria when he reached for me, repeating daddy to me and telling me Happy Birthday. Ria sat without saying hello as I put Allen in the highchair provided by the restaurant. I smiled at her from across the table.

"How are you?" I asked, not getting her attention. She didn't want to be here, I could tell. "Ria." She looked up at me and her green eyes shone brightly. She had been crying. They were only that bright when she cried, like the grassy greenness of her eyes had been watered. "I asked how you were."

"Fine," she sighed, then went back to her menu.

I decided that perhaps my daughter would be a better partner for a conversation, so I began one. I already knew what I wanted to order, anyway. I asked her to read me some words from the menu, which she did. She was becoming a very good reader. I asked her about starting school and about beginning her dancing lessons soon. She rambled on before Ria asked her what she wanted to eat, to which she replied "spaghetti" with a big smile. Allen was busy playing with the toys Ria had brought along to care much about anything.

With our orders set, my attention was again on Maria. She looked tired and worn out. Maybe I'd suggest keeping the kids for a week next time I was home. I was lucky to have my birthday off. Lunch went by quickly, the conversation not leaving the kids. Michelle insisted on dessert, and Allen happily agreed. Ice cream was brought and I had to yank away Allen's cup before he grabbed it.

"What?" Ria asked, surprised by my actions.

"Peanuts," I told her, showing her the topping on Allen's ice cream. "He's allergic to peanuts." Funny, I thought to myself. She was the one reminding me last year, and here I was this year reminding her.

"My God, I didn't even think to check," she gasped. We got Allen new ice cream and it was soon devoured. Paying the bill, we made our way outside to the cars. "I brought some toys for them, let me get the bag," Ria began starting towards her car. I grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Why don't you come, too?" I asked, my eyes pleading.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"She's there," she told me, not bothering to lie.

"No, she's not," I told her. "She hasn't been there for a few months now."

Surprised, but happy about my statement, she laughed. "So she left you like you left me."

"I knew you'd shove this in my face," I said, hurt by her comment. I knew it was coming, but it hurt more than I thought it would. She saw my expression and apologized, saying she'd come over.

The day passed quicker than I would have liked it to. Ria gave me a beautiful framed photo of the kids. Michelle made me a card and Allen gave me a picture of his newest scribbles. We sat and watched TV, the kids falling asleep on the blanket I stretched across the floor. I watched Maria from across the room. We were sitting on opposite couches. I watched as she laughed and sighed about the show on TV, missing seeing those expressions every day. Realizing what time it was, she asked for help in loading the kids into the car. I helped, of course, and as Ria came back to the house to get her purse, I pulled her into a hug.

"There's so much I want to tell you," I whispered. "So much I need to say. I have so much fear inside me yet so much hope."

She tentatively wrapped her arms around me, returning my hug. "I've been filled with both and so much more for a year, Jeff. I thought I had finally gotten over you." Her laugh held a hint of a sob. "Today, every single feeling I ever felt for you came rushing back at me. I hate you for what you've done. I hate her."

"I love you," I whispered without thinking. It felt so good to say it again, like I had been holding my breath since the last time I had. "I've always loved you and never stopped. The biggest mistake I made was walking out on you and I'll never forgive myself for it."

Pulling away from me, I saw the tears streaming down her face and only noticed I, too, was crying when she brought her hand up to wipe at them. She leant up, pressing her lips softly against mine. It was unlike any other kiss we had ever shared. Ever. "Happy Birthday, Jeff," she whispered to me. Before I knew it she was gone and the door was being slammed behind her. I touched my fingers to my lips and smiled. I'd call her tomorrow.


	3. More Love 2003

More Love (2003)

I tap my foot and check my watch for the zillionth time. Michelle will be starting first grade in a week and he's supposed to meet us at the mall for back-to-school shopping. As usual, he's late. I feel a tug on my shirt. I look down at my daughter who's sitting patiently on the bench beside me. I must remind myself to reward this good behavior.

"Mommy, why are we sitting on a bench at the mall? We could be sitting on a bench in the park!"

"We're waiting for Daddy, I told you." I sound agitated and curse myself for letting her hear me like this.

"I'm hungry," Allen announces from his stroller in front of me. He'll be wanting out of that thing soon enough.

I check my watch again. An hour we've been waiting. "We'll give Daddy five more minutes then we'll go get lunch, Ok?"

"What'll it be?" I hear a voice from behind me. It's him. "Pizza or cheeseburgers?" Michelle jumps from her spot and throws herself into Jeff's waiting arms while Allen struggles to get out of his stroller.

"Daddy!" they both chorus. I sigh and give Jeff the death look.

"Sorry," he shrugs, then leans down and kisses my cheek softly. "Got held up."

Things had been going well between us. A lot had changed over the past year. Jeff had lost his job and had been messing around with nonsense music for the better part of it, inviting the kids over all summer for fun at his house. He was there for me, though, when I needed him. When I needed to work late, he watched the kids. When I had nearly been fired he came over and just held me for an hour, even spending the night because I was such a mess. I had wanted him back so badly that I was willing to forget everything that happened. That was two years ago. Now I couldn't force the thoughts from my head no matter how hard I tried or how much I wanted them gone. I'd look into his eyes as I leant in his car window before he left for the night and I'd see flashes of her. I watched him play with the kids and wondered if she'd dive in like he always did. Once he had fallen asleep on the couch while the kids watched Nick Jr. and I watched him for a half hour, wondering if she had ever done the same. If she had woken him up with a kiss. If he had made love to her while still groggy with sleep. I watch the three of them now as he helps Allen with his pizza and wonder if she had ever helped one of our kids with a meal. I try to shake the thoughts from my head as we begin our shopping extravaganza.

Jeff was always enthusiastic about clothes. He dressed Michelle in the craziest outfits as a baby. He tried to do the same now that she was six, but her ever growing concept of 'cool' stopped him from making her try on anything that was 'so dorky' or downright 'scary' as she had once put it. I push Allen in his stroller around the current store when it hits me. Jeff's birthday is in only a few days. I take a few minutes to ponder this. He had been trying so hard to get his family back for the past year. He had the kids in his back pocket. Me, however, I was a tough bargain. I found myself being rude and nasty to him more often than not. I turn around and watch Jeff with Michelle for a little bit. Maybe I'd give him what he really wanted for his birthday this year.

I hear the doorbell ring. He's early, which is unusual for him. I had offered to throw a small celebration in our old home, even going as far as to invite Jeff's brother, father, family members, and a few of his friends. Jeff wasn't due until noon, the rest of the company at one. It was ten and I was lagging, still cleaning up the late breakfast we had. I hear the tell-tale sound of Michelle racing to the door with Allen behind her. "Daddy!" Yup, that's him.

"Hey baby girl, how are you?" I hear him as I rinse the plates off.

"I'm good. Happy Birthday!" she answers. I stick the plates in the dish washer.

"Happy Birthday!" I hear Allen repeat. I dry my hands on a washcloth.

"Why thank you!" he exclaims in an over-dramatized voice, then softens. "Where's Mommy?"

"Cleanin' the dishes," Michelle tells him.

"Why aren't you helping?" he asks.

"I broke one last time." He knows she's not allowed to help with dishes until she's a little older. Last time she helped she broke a dish and jammed the garbage disposal with a fork.

"We got presents!" Allen tells him happily.

"Presents for what?" he asks and I decide to make my presence known.

"Because it's someone's birthday," I smile from the doorway. He smiles back and I know he's going to love this day. I see he was kneeling down with the kids but he stands when he sees me. I come over to them all, giving him a quick peck on the lips which leaves him with a questioning look as I take Allen's hand and usher him back into the living room. We station the kids back in front of the TV and he follows me into the kitchen.

"What was that for?" he finally asks me.

"Happy Birthday?" I shrug. He smiles, that's enough for him.

The party went smoothly, everyone generally enjoying themselves. I had framed a picture of Jeff with the kids and made that part of his gift from them, along with a few drawings and a bracelet Michelle had made. My present, however, came after the company left.

The kids were safely tucked into bed and we found ourselves on the porch, sitting on the porch swing and sipping wine.

"I got you a present this year," I tell him as he pulls me a little closer.

"Yeah?" he asks, not really paying attention. I sit up so I am face-to-face with him and kiss him on the lips, smiling when I pull away.

"I know how badly you want this family back, Jeff."

"What are you getting at, Ria?" He sounds hopeful.

"I... I think we should give this a second chance. Us. Our family."

"Are you serious?" he asks me breathlessly, his eyes sparkling.

"I'm very serious," I answer with another kiss. I pull back and clink my glass with his. "To us," I announce.

"To more love," he replies, takes a sip of his wine, and kisses me again.


	4. Loving Arms 2004

Loving Arms (2004) 

My alarm goes off early in the morning and I swing my arm around to shut it off, knocking a few things off my dresser in the process. With a grumble I sit up and rub the sleep from my eyes. It's still dark out. I want to go back to sleep.

"Too early," comes a grumble beside me. I look over to see Ria grab my pillow and cover her head with it. I lean closer, resting on one elbow and gently take the pillow away to see her face. She smiles gently at me as she opens her eyes and I smile back.

"Sorry, baby," I apologize.

"Don't go," she tells me, reaching out to put her hand on top of mine, her smile fading slightly. It's dark in the room but my eyes are adjusted and I can see her almost perfectly.

"I have to, you know that." I brush a few stray hairs from her face. I had been working for a while but she still complained of me leaving. I didn't really understand why, though, because she was always fine with it when I was in the WWE. I think deep down she didn't like my decision, but didn't want to tell me in fear of hurting my feelings. Maybe she just wanted to spend time with me. I smile at the thought. Last year I was still waking up to a cold bed and hoping beyond hope that she'd call me that day to see the kids. A few weeks after my birthday and we were talking about moving in together again. A month later my house was on the market and all my stuff was moved back into our first home.

"What're you thinking?" she asks me, bringing her hand up to touch my face.

I smile wider at her. "I'm thinking about how happy I am." I lean in to kiss her softly. "How in love I am."

She grins at me then. "I love you, too."

I lean in for another kiss, this one deeper despite both of our morning breath. "I need to go," I whisper, my mouth still close to hers.

"Stay," she still asks. Well, more like demands.

"Ria, please," I practically beg her. She wasn't about to give up so I sit up and swing my legs over to put my feet on the floor. I rub my eyes to wake myself up a bit more. She stays laying down.

"I'm not allowed to miss you? Not want you to leave me?"

"Baby, it's work and it's only a few days."

"So? The kids miss you." I think a moment about Michelle and Allen. They were growing up so fast. I think they understood, though, why I left every week. On days I got to leave later I'd get huge hugs and kisses goodbye and they were always waiting for me to come home, no matter how late it was. It was summer, so staying up late was ok. They'd have to start getting in the early bed time habit for school, soon, though. I'm sure Ria would handle that.

"I'm not getting into this," I tell her as I stand up. She did this every week.

"Fine. Why bother even coming back then if you don't care about leaving," she scoffs, rolling over and away from me. I look at her in bewilderment for a moment. That was the first time she'd said anything of that nature before.

"What?" I practically whisper. It was too early for this.

"You heard me."

"Obviously I didn't hear you right because I thought you told me not to come back."

"No, you heard me right," she says casually.

"Fine," I tell her and pack some extra clothes, just in case. I leave shortly after without a goodbye to anyone.

The next few days are hell for me. Ria doesn't call me. I try to call her to no avail. To my surprise she's at the airport with the kids when I get in, though. She's wearing a half smile and her eyes try to hide her nervousness. I hug and kiss my kids, lifting Allen up on my hip as I look at her. "I didn't mean it," she says as she wraps her arms around herself.

"Obviously not," I tell her, looking her up and down. She looks shaken. Disturbed. "What's wrong?"

She looks at me with a frown. "Nothing. Why would something be wrong? Nothing's wrong. You know it's not the easiest job staying home with two hyper kids running around all day and me being the only one there to chase after them and clean up after them. There's nothing wrong, I'm just living my everyday life which happens to not be the easiest!" She ends her rant in a high pitch and her hands on her hips, several people looking at us. Great.

"Calm down, it was just a question," I tell her softly, fixing the strap of my duffle on my shoulder and reaching to take Michelle's hand. I give her a look before walking away towards the exit, asking Michelle softly where the car was. My little girl leads me there, Ria not far behind us.

Michelle and Allen tell me about the last few days as we drive the hour home. Once there, I take a quick shower and get a load of laundry going before finally collapsing on the couch. I close my eyes as I hear the kids out back on the swing set I'd gotten for them a few months ago. My mind drifts to Ria. What had gotten into her? Things were going so great. Had she changed her mind, had she decided not to really forgive me? Did she not want me back anymore? The thought makes me dizzy so I lay down on the couch, staring up at the ceiling as my thoughts drift to what had been and what could be. My eyes shoot open when I feel someone hovering over me. My eyes immediately meet hers. No wonder I knew someone was there, I could always sense her. She's frowning as she kneels beside the couch on the floor and I sit up slightly, adjusting myself so I'm facing her, holding myself up on my elbow. I reach out to touch her face, skimming my fingers across her cheek, her lips, and her creased eyebrows. I move my hand to the back of her head, drawing her ever so closer as I rest my forehead against hers. Our eyes are closed and I breathe her in and suddenly there's only us in the entire universe, sitting there, in silence, together. "What's going on in that head of yours?" I whisper ever so softly.

"Nothing," she answers back, just as gently. I pull away to look at her but before I can say a word she slinks her lithe body over mine, resting her head on my chest as I lay back down. She tries her best to get her hands under me to hold me close but there's too much weight and she just about works her fingers under my ribcage. We stay like that for a while, the kids voices filtering back into my head as my hands rest at the small of her back. I move one up her back slowly, soothing her with my touch.

"I love you." Her voice is still whisper soft.

"I love you, too." That was all we said and that was all I needed.

We stay close the rest of the time I'm home. We don't fight at all. The next week I arrive home on my birthday from another short loop. My family isn't at the airport as usual. Instead I find everyone, including my brother, father, and some friends, at my house for a surprise party. Well, I sure was surprised. And happy. Ria greets me with a kiss as the kids wrap themselves around each of my legs. I finally break away from Ria to kneel down by them, getting kisses of their own and millions of birthday greetings. I couldn't have wiped the smile off my face if I tried. The evening passes smoothly with dinner, presents, and then cake. The kids are asleep by the time our company leaves. I was putting the last of the utensils in the dishwasher when I feel Ria walk in the room. I stay facing the counter when I feel a pair of delicate hands go over my eyes.

"Guess who?" she asks, disguising her voice.

"Gee, I'm not sure," I laugh softly, bringing my hands up over hers, bringing them down as I entwine my fingers with hers. I turn and pull her closer as I lean against the counter. "Thank you," I tell her.

"Anything for you," she whispers, then kisses me.

"Is this what got you so worked up?"

"Yeah," she answers smoothly and slyly. I easily wrap my arms around her waist, holding her tightly and close against my hips.

"I've been thinking," I tell her, my stomach doing flip-flops. I was just as nervous as the first time I did this. "Things have been going pretty good with us, don't you think?" There I go dancing around the point.

"More than pretty good. It's like nothing ever happened. Like nothing had ever changed. And I'm happy about that."

"I am, too. I fall more in love with you ever day, you know."

She smiles at me. "I know." She smoothes her hands up my chest and around my neck, clasping them behind my head.

She leans in to kiss me ever so slowly, closing her eyes in the process. "Marry me," I blurt out before our lips touch. She freezes in my arms, our faces centimeters apart.

"What?" she barely whispers.

"Marry me. Be my wife again. Make our family whole. I love you so much I could burst and I just might." I pull away to watch her face. Her mouth is agape and her eyes are wide. She doesn't say a word, she just looks at me with that stunned expression like my proposal came out of nowhere. "Baby, I'm gonna burst if you don't give me an answer."

She blinks a few times before a smile spreads across her face. "Of course," she finally answers. "Of course."


	5. Never Say Die 2005

Never Say Die (2005)

Errands. I hate running errands, though they are necessary. The kids are at home with Jeff as I zoom around town in our new SUV, running errands. I make a quick stop at the local drug store to pick up some photos we just had developed. I climb into the giant vehicle Jeff had insisted on buying, telling me it was safer to have with the kids. Of course I let him talk me into it. Who could resist the southern charms of Jeff Hardy?

I turn up the AC in the car and find a good station on the radio that wasn't playing commercials. I take a deep breath, mentally going over my list of things to do, finding that I was done and could return home. I begin the short ride home to a community of fine new houses. Yes, new houses. Allow me to backtrack a little to catch you all up.

Jeff and I married, for the second time, in October of 2004. The ceremony was small and intimate, nothing like our first wedding. Everyone was ecstatic to hear we were re-marrying. Apparently, they were all rooting for us behind our backs all along. Our second honeymoon was short but romantic, we spent a few days in New York City while Jeff's father watched the kids. The day we returned home, Jeff gave me his wedding present to me. I was confused when he handed me a picture of a plot of land lined with trees in the back. "A new beginning, right?" he had said. "A new beginning means a new home." He pointed to the picture. "And there is where our new home is going to sit."

We spent our last Christmas in our first home, the building of our 'new beginning' starting in January. Jeff insisted on everything new, from the walls of the house to the furniture to the family car. He was spending money like crazy and I was getting worried. Then the unexpected happened.

A month before the house was finished, Jeff was suspended from wrestling. This was in May of 2005. I was so angry at him for allowing it to happen. I hadn't known he missed shows to be with me and the kids. I hadn't known he showed up late several times, probably because I demanded just one more kiss before he left. The suspension put a strain on our relationship. Jeff was depressed, sitting around at home all day with nothing to do since the new house wasn't finished yet. I was still working and the kids were still in school, which left him to himself all day.

It all came to a head one day in the beginning of June. He was just coming to bed after a night of Lord knows what as I was getting up to get the kids ready for school and to go to work. We fought. Things were said that we didn't mean. He was passed out in bed by the time breakfast was finished. I didn't bother to check on him as I loaded the kids up to bring to school. I had to leave work early that day when the school called me to retrieve my children. Yes, he had forgotten to pick them up. After that we didn't speak for a week. I was so mad that he could forget our children like that.

A family emergency is what snapped us all out of it. I was working in my cubicle when I heard a commotion near the reception desk. Peaking my head out, I saw Jeff standing with several building security guards. "You don't understand…" he was trying to explain. I saw the worry on his face and immediately stopped my work to go to him.

"It's ok," I told security as they tried to restrain him from coming towards me. He took me into his strong arms and I frowned, feeling his heart racing against my chest. He was talking a mile a minute and pulling me towards the elevator. "Calm down and tell me what's wrong," I said as calmly as possible, though I'm sure my voice sounded scared and I'm positive my whole body was shaking.

"Hospital," he said. "Allen." He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts to communicate them to me. "Peanuts." It took a millisecond for me to make the connections. I ran to grab my purse and we rushed down to the car. The hospital was only a few blocks away in the middle of town, but the ride felt like it took hours. In the end everything was all right. Allen was 6 years old and in first grade. That day one of his classmates was celebrating her birthday with candy that included peanut M&Ms. Allen had eaten one and within minutes was as red as a fire truck. He was shaken but was all right in the end.

By the end of June we were in our new home and loving it. In the beginning of August Jeff had his suspension lifted and was back to work. At the end of the month, yesterday, actually, we celebrated his 28th birthday, his first birthday in our 'new beginning' era. I hadn't given him a present because it wasn't ready on his actual birthday. That was part of my errands today. I pull up to the house that had quickly become a home to us, juggling a few bags as I head inside. I head up to the master bedroom and prepared his gift for him, a sort of tradition I had started the year he had left me, ironically. I put the two pictures into the frame as I hear Jeff and the kids come inside. I hastily put the frame back into the plastic bag as he enters the room with a smile. "I didn't know you were home," he says, coming over to kiss me with those beautiful lips of his.

"Just got in," I tell him, handing him the gift. He opens it wordlessly, looking at the photos. On the left was our old wedding photo, the one I remember crying over on his birthday four years ago, and on the right was our new one taken with both Michelle and Allen. He smiles as his fingers move over the glass. I turn it over so he can read what I had inscribed on the back.

"'Cause there's a long line of folks giving up on love," he read out loud. "So many hearts get broken in the push and shove. I'll believe in you for the rest of my life. Baby lovers like you and me will never say die."


End file.
